![]() He was a tower of denim, like a Pier 1 couch from 1998 standing on end. I don’t remember much about Luke’s solo performance. Luke Bryan and Gabby Barrett: “Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset” This show was never a perfect fit for her, but this moment was. Jurnee seemed liberated, like the weight of this carnivalesque death match was finally off her shoulders. It sounded like that new Charlie Puth/Kehlani song “Done for Me,” which is - I’m surprised to report - hot as fire. Whoa, maybe “Jealous” should’ve been a duet this whole time? Jurnee approached the stage in yard-long boots, strutted around the five-foot-eight pile of biceps and TopMan outerwear known as Nick Jonas, and made this song so much lighter and sultrier than the radio cut. We have no Top 40 songs like “All Night Long” anymore and I was mom-dancing on my ottoman to his performance like my stationery store just went out of business and I’m gonna make it anyway! Thanks for the senselessly optimistic good times, Lionel. He’s incapable of cutting criticism and tonight, I’ll allow that. He’s working his same silhouette from 1981, he’s got incisors bigger than my thigh, and he’s having a smiley old time. Guys, I know Lionel has spent this entire season yipping, “I’m a fan! Keep it up!” and shooting finger guns at every finalist in sight, but you can’t hate him. Lionel Richie and the Top 10: “All Night Long” Grab your most rhinestoned blazer and listen in as we join Caleb, Gabby, and Maddie on their trek to the final reveal and, surely, a sizable Macy’s gift card. Very different recording artists if you ask me. Today, for the final recap of the season, I’ll run through them in chronological order since it’s hard to measure the work of Darius Rucker against the craft of Kermit the Frog. Usually I rank the performances in every episode. Actually, we do have one thing: Caleb Lee Hutchinson’s impression of Lionel Richie was scary in its precision and I will never forget it. Once again, for the 16th time, we were subjected to an intense, melancholic, triumphant finale (with a too-cynical-by-half bit from Jimmy Kimmel thrown in, plus a longish gag about an alpaca) and now we’re all alone with a new winner with nothing to show for our season-long devotion. ![]() They’re too gigantic to ignore, even if you don’t care about Trent Harmon meeting Bo Bice or whatever other wild antics are promised. My theory is that the finales are what keep fans coming back to Idol. ![]() “Here’s LeAnn Rimes! Patti LaBelle! All your favorite contestants arranged onstage in a Hands Across America stance performing with legends!” It’s an emotional, star-studded overload and a searing conclusion - every single season. It convinces you with subtle, thorough trickery that every episode has been this captivating. The Idol finale is always a trip and a lie. ![]()
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